I’ll be your sponsor Mike… hell, I’m up late enough for a crisis of gadgetry even for left coasters…
Twelve Steps of Appleholics Anonymous:
- Admit you are powerless over Apple—that your gadgets are unmanageably proprietary albeit sleek and sexy.
- Believe that a ubiquity greater than Mac could restore you to sanity.
- Decide to turn your purchasing and your devices over to the cause of ubiquity as you understand it.
- Make a searching and fearless inventory of your computer desks.
- Admit to yourself, and to everyone else you looked down your nose at, the exact nature of your wrongs.
- Be ready to have mixed platforms replace all your proprietary iDevices.
- Humbly ask John Hodgman to remove your shortcomings.
- Make a list of all persons you have snickered at for using their populist PCs, Microsoft products, Linux distros and Symbian phones, and be willing to make amends to them all.
- Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would result in them throwing said Symbian phones at your head.
- Continue to take desktop inventory and when you find an “i” or “Mac” prefix promptly discard it.
- Seek, through budgeting and Google Maps, to improve your conscious contact with discount electronics vendors instead of the Apple Store, seeking only for knowledge of a bar that doesn’t self-aggrandizingly proclaim “Genius” .
- Having had a consumer awakening as a result of these steps, carry this message to Appleholics, and practice these principles in all your gadget and device acquisitions.